Interpretating Terry Davis' Rant

I'll give a few notes on interpreting, but first notice that on Pentecost, they all heard something different. 2:1 And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. 2:2 And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. 2:3 And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. 2:4 And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. 2:5 And there were dwelling at Jerusalem Jews, devout men, out of every nation under heaven. 2:6 Now when this was noised abroad, the multitude came together, and were confounded, because that every man heard them speak in his own language. 2:7 And they were all amazed and marvelled, saying one to another, Behold, are not all these which speak Galilaeans? 2:8 And how hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born? 2:9 Parthians, and Medes, and Elamites, and the dwellers in Mesopotamia, and in Judaea, and Cappadocia, in Pontus, and Asia, 2:10 Phrygia, and Pamphylia, in Egypt, and in the parts of Libya about Cyrene, and strangers of Rome, Jews and proselytes, 2:11 Cretes and Arabians, we do hear them speak in our tongues the wonderful works of God. 2:12 And they were all amazed, and were in doubt, saying one to another, What meaneth this? 2:13 Others mocking said, These men are full of new wine. It is normal when doing tongues to get filler. Generally, you get a response proportional to what you offer. In this passage, it says they got five out of ten thousand words that made sense. 14:13 Wherefore let him that speaketh in an unknown tongue pray that he may interpret. 14:14 For if I pray in an unknown tongue, my spirit prayeth, but my understanding is unfruitful. 14:15 What is it then? I will pray with the spirit, and I will pray with the understanding also: I will sing with the spirit, and I will sing with the understanding also. 14:16 Else when thou shalt bless with the spirit, how shall he that occupieth the room of the unlearned say Amen at thy giving of thanks, seeing he understandeth not what thou sayest? 14:17 For thou verily givest thanks well, but the other is not edified. 14:18 I thank my God, I speak with tongues more than ye all: 14:19 Yet in the church I had rather speak five words with my understanding, that by my voice I might teach others also, than ten thousand words in an unknown tongue. Here is a misspelled paragraph. Can you read it? I cdn'uolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg: the phaonmneel pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rseearch taem at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and you awlyas thguoht slpeling was ipmorantt. When I read, I put each pair of words together for meaning. Sometimes, words stand alone and sometimes three or more form a phrase. When I interpret, there are several personal meanings. If I see "Chaldaean" in a passage, I am reminded of "Chad", the name of a homo in our dorm at ASU, not to be confused with Chad at Ticketmaster. If the Jews get conquered by Chaldaeans, it roughly translates as a victory for homos. When I generate tongues, I stop when I see these letters in a word: "fin", "end", "quit", "done", "null", "fail", "false", "nope", "dull", "weary", "sever" and a number of others. I'm a computer programmer and any word which suggests zero can be a terminator, for me. Normally, I overrun by about two words. They count. I completely miss about one in ten terminators. I figure God planned it. I use these file as God's vocabulary: ~/Sup1/Sup1Words/LinuxDict.TXT or ~/Sup1/Sup1Words/HappyWords.TXT. "These cans are defective" "Happy happy joy joy" "You're not all there" "Han shot first" is from Star Wars. "We've already got one" "Run away" "I'm not dead yet" "I'll be back" is Terminator. "IMHO" is "in my humble opinion". "ROFLMAO" is "rolling on the floor laughing my ass off". "I pity the fool" is Mr. T. "Whatchu talking about" is Different Strokes. "I see nothing" is Sgt. Shultz from Hogan's Heros. "Icarus" is the Greek Hero. It also might mean "icky". "Okilydokily" is Flanders from Simpsons. "I'm God, who the Hell are you?" is like Bart Simpson. "WooHoo" is Homer Simpson. "Doh" is Homer Simpson. "Shakespeare" might mean it has a quality like Shakespeare. "Roses are red" means "poetry". "Mars", sometimes, might simply translate as "war". "What are you doing Dave?" "Bad ol puddytat" is Tweetybird from BugsBunny. "Ehheh that's all folks" is Porky Pig from Bugs Bunny. "To infinity and beyond" is Buzz LightYear from Toy Story. "Pick me! Pick me!" "Do you get a cookie" is CEO Fred Rosen from Ticketmaster. "Why do you want to pay that bill? Do you get a cookie?" "Beam me up" is Star Trek. "Phasors on stun" is Star Trek. This might mean I have stunned somebody. "Oh my" is Sulu from Star Trek. It's kinda gay. "Face palm" is Star Trek. "Bickering" is Obama. "No, you can't" is against Obama's "Yes, we can." "Catastrophic Success" is Bush. "Mission Accomplished" is Bush. "Duck the shoe" "Dean Scream" It can be a faux pas or it can mean someone is screaming. "Can you hear me now" is a cell phone commercial. "But of course" is the Grey Poupon commercial. "Wazz-up" is the Budweiser commercial. "Could it be... Satan?" "You hoser" is Bob and Doug McKenzie. "Do you want another" is "Thank you, sir, may I have another?" from a boot camp movie. Was it Officer and Gentleman? A Tom Cruise movie? Stripes? "Failure is not an option" is from Apollo Thirteen. "One small step" is Neil Armstrong. "Failure to communicate" "Far out man" is Cheech and Chong. "Class class shut-up" "Go ahead, make my day." "Make my day" "Are you feeling lucky?" "Hey Mikey, he likes it!" "How high?" When I say "Jump", you ask, "How high?" "Wife" is usually my Mom. "Husband" is usually my Dad. "Handyman" is my Dad, sometimes. "In a galaxy far far away" is Star Wars. "Life's like chocolates" is Forest Gump. "Little buddy" is Gilligan's Island. "Mission from God" "No more tears" is an Ozzy Osborne song. "Not is Kansas anymore" is Wizard of Oz. "Not that there's anything wrong with that" is Seinfeld. "Yada yada yada" is Seinfeld. "So let it be written"/"So let it be done" is Exodus. "Tiffanies" is ridiculously fancy. "What have you done for me lately?" "Won't you be my neighbor" is Mr. Rogers. "You talking to me?" "Bye" might mean "bisexual". "Harder than it looks" might mean erection. "Adjusted for inflation" can mean "put in a modern context". "Boink" is sex or poking or something. "Hooah" is Marine victory cry.